Longlist for the Fantasy Book Review Fantasy Short Story Competition 2011 announced
Back in April 2011 we launched the Fantasy Book Review Fantasy Short Story Competition. As with any competition in its first year we were unsure as to how it would be received and how popular it would be. Thankfully it was a success and the excellent entries have given – and are still giving – us hours and hours of reading pleasure.
I know that many entrants have been waiting patiently for the release of the shortlist of 9, which I have had to keep pushing back while we read are way through almost 100 stories that came in during the last 2 days of the competition. And we still haven’t finished but we are almost down to single figures now!
Although I hadn’t planned to do so I cannot think of any reason why I shouldn’t publish the longlist as it currently stands. The list below will grow larger should any of the remaining stories score highly enough.
Before you look at the the list I just want to quickly explain the rating system we have used. We marked every story out of 40, awarding up to 10 marks each for originality of fantasy theme, characterisation, plot and overall quality. Any story that received 32/40 was very, very good. However, the stories listed below all received 33/40 or more and as such were just that little bit special.
The list below will be whittled down to 9, and then to 3. If you were on the longlist but do not make the shortlist then I hope you are not too upset – I reckoned (hopefully accurately) that you would like to know just how good we thought your submission was.
So, without any further ado, here is the current longlist, ordered by the date they were read and rated. I have included small snippets from the judging notes to help explain what exactly it was we liked about each story:
- Adlers by Elaine Peake
A thoroughly delightful story, well-written and featuring great characters and a great plot. Both engaging and charming; - The Price of Envy by Stephie Hall
A great story that gets right to the root of what fantasy literature is all about and why it can have such a significant and everlasting effect on a developing mind. It also shows clearly how the loss of imagination and the loss of innocence are unfortunate side-effects of maturity. Powerful with bitterness and realism; - Night Swimming by Judy Upton
A near-faultless short story written with great confidence and skill; - The Ladder by Pete Clark
A chilling tale, containing elements of horror. A disturbing and excellently written short story that will make any parent confront their worst fears; - Of Demons by Tomos Lloyd-Jones
A fantastic little story with a nice touch of dark humour at the end. Laugh out loud at some points, it is well written, amusing, and highly entertaining. Overall a great short story; - Horrific Accident by Alice Whitfield
Top-notch characterisation as the author shows a keen observational eye. It was a brutal, depressing story of real life in a tough and often uncaring world; - The Dwarf by George Poles
In a Brothers Grimm-style tale, the beautiful people of a kingdom buy deformed dwarves, the uglier the better, which they place beside them in order to set off their own good looks even more. A short fairy-tale that contains a lesson to us all; - Spellbound Dreams by Dawn McKinley
A short story from a very talented author – everything was to a high standard; - Coin-Operated Boys by Kirsty Logan
In an unusual short story, women can buy coin-operated boys who are perfect mannequins that act like humans, to be hired and used by ladies who need some company. An inventive plot, with a sinister undertone; - The Hearing by Mark Torrender
A superb short story of a man who sues his Guardian Angel, for not saving him from a life changing injury, only to find out some home truths; - Legacy of the High King by Robert Kelley
An excellent and interesting story about a man who is dragged into a story he doesn’t understand, where no one tells him the rules; - Night-whisperer by Ian Smethurst
A tale of revenge against a Necromancer of intense power who is beaten by a victim of one of the Necromancer’s spells. Interesting to read and intelligent; - The Tower of Truth by Oliver Eade
A fantastic story about a man who, at a fair, enters a ride and is shown the past/present and future, but unfortunately doesn’t heed the warnings given; - Scholar’s Reprisal by Thomas Dipple
A story of betrayal from a king who wants more power but is served instead revenge by the people he tried to betray. It would make a good longer story as well; - Senescence by David Rudden
Original, great characterisation and plot and all held together by an excellent narrative. A real gem of a short-story, powerful, thought-provoking and memorable; - The Ogre’s Elevator by Noel Williams
A lovely, magical little story featuring paper aeroplanes and ogres; - Can you keep a secret? by Fabienne Maria
Well, this one was a bit of a surprise! It took me three days just to open the attachment, and when I did the story itself did not have a title. Not the best of starts… But the story itself turned out top be a little gem, very original, good plot and characters and a great plot. A really unexpected success; - To Ashes by Kat Zantow
I really liked this story of two people who have escaped from a firestorm that has destroyed their city, but who go back to finally lay to rest the ‘Patron’ who ruled and eventually cursed it to ruin. Moving amongst significant points, the ashes are mixed and tattooed onto the girl’s back, in a prison for the Patron. It’s very well written, with an urban fantasy feel but more fantastical, with magical tattoos and hellhounds roaming the charred city streets; - Howl by Rheanna-Marie Hall
A wonderful little story about a Halfling whose son is taken from her and the revenge she seeks on the humans that stole him; - For All Time by Jean Marino
An intriguing story of time travelling. When a man from the past falls into our future, sparks erupt between him and the woman who rescues him; - River Song by Cheryl Hartsell
A beautiful story of two people who are no longer living, finding each other with the help of their dead relatives; - Arran of the Blood Red Army by Martin Leyland
A great story about a boy on a trip with his aunt and uncle who discovers that he is able to see into a magical realm and discover his destiny, by helping protect very powerful magical artefacts. - The things we don’t say by Sonya Selbach
An intruiging story of love lost and conspiracy. The story twists from memories to the present so we never know the full details, it leaves you wanting more.
Comments
Pete Clark
October 20th, 2011
Thank you Lee, I am very happy to be counted amongst these longlisted stories.
Pete
Narcissus
October 20th, 2011
I didn’t make it?????
Rory
October 20th, 2011
Hi Lee,
Thanks for putting up the shortlist- obviously I’m a little disappointed but oh well, congratulations to everyone on there! Just wondering whether I would be able to get the score of my short story Rite of Royalty. Thanks.
Rory
Lee
October 20th, 2011
I’m sorry Narcissus, your entry was excellent, scoring 32/40, just 1 mark off being on the longlist. Here’s what the judge said, “Skyline and .Kate Com: By far the most original entry so far. Featuring poetry and emails the way in which it told its story was a brilliant idea”.
Rory, once again your story was strong, scoring 29/40 and the judge said, “Rite of Royalty: A young prince loses his brother to a fever and has to undertake a passage of rite to drink blessed waters and become the heir to the throne. A very interesting and a very well written short story.”
–
I’m hoping to email all those that requested feedback very soon.
All the best,
Lee
Amy
October 20th, 2011
Ah, not me this year. Never mind, there’s always next year! There will be a next year, won’t there?
Thanks for all your help Lee, in answering questions during the writing phase and since! I had fun!
Michael Winegar
October 20th, 2011
Dear Lee,
Has “Cross Words” been scored yet? After reading the scoring system, I’m thinking it wasn’t the kind of story you were looking for….
Ron Nicholson
October 20th, 2011
Oh well, my story wasn’t good enough. I’m not giving up though. Maybe I’ll try the Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine instead. I hope that whoever read it, enjoyed it and if it made somebody smile I’m happy.
Tonderai Chiyaka
October 20th, 2011
It has been great representing Africa & Zimbabwe.
Lee
October 20th, 2011
Thanks Amy, I am really pleased that you found the experience enjoyable. Your story, Sarenzia’s Fall, which I referred to in my notes as “Life at a Betty Ford clinic for witches” was a great story, featuring themes of addiction (here it is magic rather than alcohol or drugs) and the difficulty behind making major decisions. You scored 28/40 which equates to very good. Hope this feedback is useful.
Hi Michael, Cross Words has not been read and rated yet so I have my fingers crossed for you.
Ron, in your submission email you said that “I hope that my story makes you smile” and that is exactly what you achieved. My notes on your story say “Jack the Ripper meets Mary Poppins” and I have never typed that before and very much doubt that I will again! I thought your story was above average in all areas and rated it 24/40 and would sincerely hope that you don’t give up – I really enjoyed the humour you put into your story.
Thanks to everyone who has entered the competition, feedback will shortly be with those who have requested it.
All the best,
Lee
Lee
October 20th, 2011
Hi Tonderai,
One of the things that has really pleased me about this competition is that it has received entrants from all over the world. We had your good self representing Zimbabwe and Africa and also received submissions from the UK, the US, Australia, Canada, China, Spain, India, Slovenia, Estonia, Ireland, Greece, South Africa, Kenya, Nigeria, Japan, Sri Lanka, Portugal, France, Ghana and last, but by no means least, Nepal.
Another thing I have liked is that it has also encouraged people who have never written a story before to have a go. And there has also been the ages of the authors, ranging from 10 (which I think is the youngest but would need to check) up to those 60+.
I am now really looking forward to announcing the shortlist and the winners.
All the best,
Lee
Aaron Sanderson
October 20th, 2011
Oh well, maybe next time. Will copies of the winning entries go up on the site or anything for us to enjoy and/or make bitter and snide comments about?
Ben
October 20th, 2011
I wonder if mine has been read yet? “A Gnome in the Woods” was submitted really late. And if so, may I have the score?
Thomas Ajax-Lewis
October 20th, 2011
Hi Lee,
Obviously I’m a little disappointed not to be counted among those successful few, could you tell me how well I did with my story ‘It Rained That Day’?
Congratulations to the Longlisters – I look forward to reading more from you!
Lee
October 20th, 2011
Hi Aaron,
Yes, the 3 winning stories will be published both here, and on Swift Publishers site on the 8th of November (they will first be announced on the 1st, a week earlier). Hope you enjoy them, even if it is grudgingly :0)
Oh, by the way, your submission was, according to the judge who read it, “a really funny story, reminiscent of Tom Holt”. I believe she really enjoyed it – thanks so much for sending it in.
All the best,
Lee
Lee
October 20th, 2011
Hi Thomas,
It Rained that Day received 7/10 for originality and 8/10 for overall quality and the judge really liked the “speech in the middle about destinies unknown” and was left with “the knowledge of the futility of war”. But, the judge did not feel that the the ending did the story full justice and that brought the overall score down to 24/40 rather than the 30/40 it had looked likely to receive. Hope that feedback is useful,
Lee
Thomas Ajax-Lewis
October 20th, 2011
Thanks for your quick response Lee, the feedback’s useful and has already prepared me for the next competition.
Narcissus
October 20th, 2011
Well, I tried. I’m glad the judges thought so highly of my story. Being 17, just hearing what they thought about it feels like a very big achievement to me.
Narcissus
October 20th, 2011
Will there be a Science Fiction short story contest? If so, I can enter then. I’m wondering if I’m the youngest person that entered this contest…
Jenn
October 20th, 2011
To be honest I’m no suprised I didn’t make it to the list, the story I sent in has been drastically changed since
But could you tell me my scores too? I would love to know what unbiased people thought! (and what I need to work on)
Thank you
Jenn
X
Aaron Sanderson
October 20th, 2011
OK cool, look forward to reading the winning entries. Any chance I could know what score I got? I like to quantify my failures…
I kid! (Not about the score though.)
Ryan
October 20th, 2011
Oh well.
Little disappointed about not making it onto the list, but I’ll just have to try harder for next time.
I was wondering if I could know my score, if at all possible?
Just so I know how much I need to improve
Ryan
Emma
October 20th, 2011
Hi Lee,
is it possible to get the score for my story “The Egg”? It would be really useful thank you
Ryan
October 20th, 2011
By the way, my story was “Memories in Red”.
Forgot to add that bit
Don Burks
October 20th, 2011
I would love to hear what the judges had to say about my story ‘Everborn’. I think all 10 of my fingers are crossed that it’s in the dozen that haven’t been read yet and may still make the list (according to the e-mail).
J.M. Powers
October 20th, 2011
Thanks so much for putting up the long list. I appreciate all the work and effort it takes to read and judge each entry. I am honored to be among those in this list. Keeping my fingers crossed–maybe I will make it to the finals. Good luck to everyone on the list!
Jean Marino
October 20th, 2011
Oops. I put my pen name, J. M. Powers, instead of Jean Marino in comments. Sorry for the confusion. *grin*
Cheryl
October 20th, 2011
Curious… How many entries were there?
Benjamin Love
October 21st, 2011
Oh, I forgot to put my last name. I think I entered as B. Joseph Love, and my story was called “A Gnome in the Woods.” Just wondering what score I received, or if it had been read yet. Just got the copy of The Snowmelt River! Thanks to Swift for giving the option of a signed copy.
Jennay
October 21st, 2011
Hi Lee, I just wanted to ask if this is the official longlist? Also, if i could also get my score for Kendria that would be awesome. Thanks!
Rachael H
October 21st, 2011
Hi Lee,
If you could tell me the score/comments for my story “An Unwanted, Helping Hand” that would be really useful
Thanks.
Adam Lane
October 21st, 2011
Aww, was hoping for a longlist but it can’t be helped I suppose. Best of luck to everyone and I look forward to seeing who wins. Any chance I could find out how I scored? My story was Things that go Bump.
Debbie Ecob
October 21st, 2011
Would have liked to make the long list but happy for those that did. Feedback on The Sliver of Abilon would be very welcome. I’m thinking of uploading it onto Kindle as a free short when its ready. Great competition btw.
Natasha
October 21st, 2011
Ah, didn’t make it. Congratulations to all those who did, though!
(Lee, is it possible for me to get my score? I wrote the one about the killer mermaids.)
Beth M
October 21st, 2011
Thanks for running the competition, Lee. I’ve never checked my email so often or the same site so many times every day than in the last few weeks, waiting for the short list. Congrats to everyone who made it. I’m really looking forward to reading the winners, and I hope I’ll get the chance to read the others short listed as well. Not surprised I didn’t make it, but I still felt a little weak-kneed with general disappointment when we all finally got the news, yay or nay. But I am happy that this competition gave me a goal. I worked very hard on my short story, and I’m looking forward to the next opportunity to enter such a competition on this site. Like everyone else, I hope my story was enjoyed to some extent by the judges.
Lee, I was hoping to get my scores along with feedback once that’s all sent out, if it’s possible (My story is ‘The Voice’). I need to know what to work on. Or whether short stories just aren’t my thing, and I need to focus on my novels
Thanks again, so much.
Hannah Bates
October 21st, 2011
Can’t wait to read the winning story. Even though I am kind of disappointed that I didn’t make it, still it was my first try at a writing competition and it was fun
Lee
October 21st, 2011
Thank you for all you comments (especially the kind ones) and I will answer all over the coming days.
I think it would be best if I kept feedback solely to email from now on. I didn’t mind publishing those already on the page as they were all positive and I didn’t think the authors’ would mind either. But chances are there may be a slightly less than positive one due and I don’t think posting it on the page is a decent thing to do. So, from now on, all feedback will come through by email.
I hope that is OK with everyone,
Best wishes,
Lee
Ryan
October 21st, 2011
Okay Lee.
That’s no problem.
Ryan
Martin Leyland
October 21st, 2011
Hi Lee
I have sent an email but I just wondered if you knew how many submissions there were overall? I am happy to have made the longlist as I never rate my work that much myself!
Jake Keidel
October 21st, 2011
Ah well, had fun writing the blooming thing anyway. Congratulations on everyone who made the short-list; please be sure that if I ever see your name on any book in the shop, odds are I will pick them up. you know, if I have the money.
Lee, thanks very much, on behalf of everyone (although it may have been said about one thousand times already) for taking the time of reading through everyone’s work (I know I appreciate the effort, because I would have gone mad having to read so much in so little time) and thanks for agreeing to give feedback. If only every other competition was as helpful as yours.
Cheers again,
Jake
Heather Harrison-Beeston
October 21st, 2011
Hello, I wrote Warlock, and I didn’t get long listed. Could you tell me what I scored anyway please? Thanks.
Tarli Morgan
October 21st, 2011
Hi there. Is it possible for me to know what score I got? I’m curious as to what areas I need to improve on in future.
Tarli Morgan
October 21st, 2011
Here is my email by the way.
Tarli Morgan
October 21st, 2011
Let’s try that again. My email is hentotheserpent@hotmail.co.uk; is it possible to get feedback on why I didn’t get in, if only the scores?
Edd
October 21st, 2011
Hi lee, i didn’t make the longlist but thats certainly not going to stop me finishing my story!
If possible could i receive feedback on my story?
Thank you and congratulations to all.
Edd
Elaine Peake
October 21st, 2011
I would just like to say …….YAY I made the long list!
G.S.Vasu Kumar
October 21st, 2011
Hi Lee,
It would be nice if you let me know the score of my story “Time, Space & God”. Also how close was my story in the contest?
I wish all the very best for the writers whose stories have been chosen.
Regards,
Vasu
Chike Anachu
October 21st, 2011
Thanks 4 d opportunity Lee… Though I didn’t make it into the longlist I would still love to know how my story ‘An old Griot’s Tale’ fared and rated. Cheers to those who made it. I’ll try and drink to that… Lol
Tonderai Chiyaka
October 22nd, 2011
Hi Lee, can you help get my short story, the one I entered (Tonderai Chiyaka’s The Fable of Mermaid MaSiziba) into a short anime film or and graphic novel because I think it would make for a gripping and dark view of true, original African fantasy. I feel like I have already watched the fantasy flick as it keeps replaying in my mind; every time even more vivid than before and hope to share it with the fantasy universe.
Amy
October 22nd, 2011
Hey Lee,
Thanks for my feedback (although it’s waaaaay up the page now!). I’m pretty pleased with my score – I think I did well on originality but let myself down on characterisation, I was hitting my head in frustration on the 5000 word limit! Still, plenty of room for improvement for next year!
Looking forward to reading the winning entries when they are published – lets see if any of them reached the lofty 40/40!
Amy
Narcissus
October 23rd, 2011
I’m still upset but will there be a science fiction story competition? (I know I already asked that, but I’m just checking).
Lee
October 24th, 2011
Hello everybody,
I have managed to send feedback to about 8 people so far and am trying to speak to 2 people each day. There has been quite some interest in receiving feedback so it may be 3 weeks or more before some receive an email from me… but rest assured, it is definitely on my to-do list.
All the best,
Lee
Debbie Ecob
October 24th, 2011
Thanks Lee. Looking forward to hearing what you have to say, don’t mind the wait.
Tarli Morgan
October 24th, 2011
Thanks Lee! It’s really kind of you to spend your time on us losers. Really appreciated. Also, in case you read this. Please don’t feel bad about being negative (you seem like a nice guy and might want to ease our wounded pride a bit). I’d rather hear the negative than the positive in order to improve.
Also, small question. Since I failed is it acceptable for me to re-use Pulse sometime?
Fabienne Carey
October 24th, 2011
Hi, I am the author of ‘Can you keep a secret’. I always title my stories after writing them and I must have forgotten to add the title to my document before submitting it! Sorry about that. The actual title was ‘The Secret Keeper’ however the current one is fine!
Rachael H
October 24th, 2011
If I could get some feedback that would be great. My email is hockeygirl690@gmail.com and my story was An Unwanted, Helping Hand.
Hien
October 25th, 2011
Hi Lee,
Is there anyway you can send me my feedback through my email? The story is “Journey to the Green Heaven”.
Thank you very much.
Sonya
October 25th, 2011
Hi Lee,
I have no idea if my story has been read yet as it was a late entry, but that’s not the point here. Having entered other contests, I really just want to let you know how impressed I am by the time you have taken to respond. That is so rare, and it is appreciated. The offer of feedback is really amazing. You’re spoiling us, I think.
Thanks again. This has been a great contest experience and I look foreward to entering in the future.
~Sonya
Grant A
October 25th, 2011
Hi,
I just wanted to add my thanks for running the competition and getting so many stories read and rated so quickly. I had great fun entering – it was the first time I’d written a story since GCSEs several years ago so I’m not surprised I didn’t make the long list but think I learnt a lot from trying. Looking forward to reading the winners and getting the feedback to find out just how low my score was
BTW – I never got a copy of The Snowmelt River, so if you could check when you have a moment (… so probably Christmas LOL) I’d much appreciate it.
Cheers,
Grant
Nathan
October 25th, 2011
Hey, Lee.
I would like to be added to the (long, LONG) list of people who would like a little additional feedback. I’m especially worried that my story may have had some Deus Ex Machina that I didn’t manage to root out all of the way; I’m used to writing longer stories.
We don’t mean to run you ragged here. Thanks for everything!
Privid
October 25th, 2011
Heya! I’d love some feedback on my story ‘The Outlaws’.
Nerissa
October 25th, 2011
Ohhhh, I didn’t make it either? Oh well, I guess I didn’t really have a chance as I am the youngest. Thanks for the opportunity anyway.
Nerissa
Lee
October 25th, 2011
Hi Ben (A Gnome in the Woods). I have just sent you an email with some feedback.
All the best,
Lee
Lee
October 25th, 2011
Alice (Truth, Vamoose!) you have new mail too!
Lee
October 25th, 2011
Ryan (Memories in Red), you should have a feedback email now too.
Stuart
October 26th, 2011
Hi Lee
Just wanted to add my thanks to all of those posted above. I am gutted that ‘The Darkmurk’ didnt make the longlist, but would appreciate your thoughts if you have the time.
Best regards
Stuart
Lee
October 26th, 2011
Beth M and K. Sumthin, feedback has just been emailed across to you both, I hope it is useful to you.
–
The shortlist of 9 is now 90% complete – I will be publishing it on this site in the next day or so, with Frank P Ryan then selecting the 3 winners.
Good luck to all,
Lee
Jennay
October 27th, 2011
Hi Lee,
I never received the free ebook, has mine been read yet?
Title: Kendria
Thanks,
Jennay
Elaine Peake
October 27th, 2011
Is it too late to curry favour or offer bribes? it’s getting increasingly difficult to type with crossed fingers and without fingernails.
Jean Marino
October 27th, 2011
Elaine Peake, You made me laugh so hard! Good luck!
Amy Ochu
October 27th, 2011
Hi, Lee!
I know you’re probably buried in requests for feedback right now, but I hope you don’t mind if I join in. The name of my fantasy story is “The Freak’s Gift”.
Kirie-lea
October 27th, 2011
Hello, could you send any feedback to chainofnightmares@live.co.uk Thank you
Congrations to those on the list
Beth M
October 28th, 2011
Hi Lee,
Thanks so much for the feedback.
Can’t pretend it was the best thing to prepare me for my day at work the other day, because of course anything anyone has to say that doesn’t correspond with exactly what I meant to correspond is bad
. My ride to work wasn’t over pleasant, and I can’t pretend I didn’t have a few close encounters with a couple of impatient cars, but I do appreciate it. Tremendously. I will work even harder on the next competition this site has to offer, and any other competitions I happen to come across.
Thank you again, and again best of luck to all those awesome authors long-listed.
Laters!
Ian Smethurst
October 28th, 2011
I have been travelling right across europe, and only just got back. So it was a great and pleasant surprise to learn that my story had made it onto the longlist. Thank you so much Lee, and all the others who have worked so hard to make this such a great competition, and congratulations to all who entered.
*raises a toast to you all*
Eugenia
October 29th, 2011
First of all, congratulations to all winners.
Congratulations to all who entered the competition, also to those who have completed a nice piece of work, it does not matter if they are not on the shortlist.
Lee, as I can see you are informing writers about some of the comments of the judges on their stories and since it is not all about winning but also about learning to become better in your work, I would be thankful if you could kindly tell me the comments even the bad ones, on the story “collage”
Looking forward to hearing from you
Matt Hiebert
October 30th, 2011
Hey Lee! Can’t wait to read the winners. Can I get the feedback on my story Sword of the Ironskin? Maybe it can give me the direction I need to make it publishable.
Thanks again for your kind words.
Matt Hiebert
tonderai chiyaka
November 1st, 2011
i have been waiting to receive my free book 2 no avail & what was my mark. lee you haven’t given me feedback on 22october post. i know Africa is far but…I feel a little short changed when it comes to feedback
Lee
November 1st, 2011
Tonderai, you must understand that this is an extremely busy time and I have clearly stated already that providing feedback will take time as there is much demand for it. Until now everybody has been most kind and patient.
In answer to your October 22 post… No, I cannot help turn your story into a short anime film or graphic novel.
Lee
November 1st, 2011
On a different note…
The winner and 2 runner-ups will be announced in a post later on today.
All the best,
Lee
Sonya
November 8th, 2011
Holy… How did I miss being on here? Thanks for letting me know in my feedback, Lee. I’ve spent the last half-hour clinging to cloud nine. I feel so honored! Thank you so very much for everything,
-Sonya
Lee
November 15th, 2011
UPDATE: We are currently working on publishing the three winning entries, the work which includes the design of three individual, specially-designed PDF templates and comment on the winning entries from Frank P Ryan and the winning authors themselves. Thank you for your patience.




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