The Hazardous Players have been building a fantasy adventure which constructs multiple narratives using various media: writing, video, audio performance and art to create a story that is an expanding fantasy for children and adults. Though a non-traditional approach to literature, it is an unique way to tell a story, harkening back to the time of episodic adventures on the radio.
Each week The Hazardous Players offer up a new chapter in the adventures of good Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst. Listen as they reluctantly stumble their way through the land of Udenland, while trying to avoid being eaten by any number of terrifying beasts. Along the way they meet several of the eccentric members of Udenland society who more often than not, prove a greater challenge than the terrifying beasts.
Fortunately for the knights they have with them the Henchwoods Guides, the essential guides for identifying the myriad of creatures and plants which pose a threat to their safety and generally well being. Regularly the guide is updated with illustrations and facts about new discoveries, including everything from migration habits to the best way to avoid being eaten (usually involves running).
The Problem in Pimpleton
Good Sirs Cottington and Bratwurst have been commanded by King Theodor to ride to the village of Pimpleton, where they must face a terrible foe. Will the knights rise to the occasion and bravely face this terrifying menace that is bringing chaos to the kingdom? Don’t count on it.
Listen to the Problem in Pimpleton now
The Secret of Donotalado
Once again King Theodor plots to rid himself of Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst. With the assistance of his trusted advisor Reg, they scheme of a quest that will take the two knights well beyond the borders of Udenland, and hopefully to their deaths.
Listen to the first episode of The Secret of Donotalado
Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst, on the orders of the King, have reluctantly begun their next adventure in search of the Mystic Painting of Donotalado. First stop-the unsavoury village of Pimpleton, scene of the knights first tale, The Problem in Pimpleton. The Knights hope to track down their unlikely friend, Nigel, the Emerald Forest Twin Tail, (a very rare and intelligent dragon) who has vast knowledge of…well, pretty much everything. If anyone knows what this painting thing is suppose to do, surely he must…maybe…yes, yes I’m certain…pretty sure anyway. Upon reaching Pimpleton, they are greeted by some of its citizenry, including Pimpleton’s finest, Sheriff Dogberry, who helps steer them on their way. With the help of two charming young lads, Colin and Timothy, they find themselves at the Tinkers Cuss Inn where the local criminal class likes to hang their hats.
Listen to the second episode of The Secret of Donotalado
Having arrived at The Tinkers Cuss Inn, the infamous way station of Udenland’s criminal element, our two heroes settle in for what they hope is a relaxing evening of rumination and imbibing. The Tinkers Cuss, or, as it is know to the locals, “The Cuss”, has long been a gathering spot for the more despicable members of Udenland society. Drawn there by the “ask no questions, especially about how you got that scar and whether that’s blood on your shirt ” policy of proprietor Robert Thiggleswade. The outlaws and thugs of Udenland find The Cuss a welcoming place to convene, in order to drink, brawl, plan criminal activities and compare knitting projects (oddly popular with Udenland’s reprobates). That is, until the recent addition of Nigel to the local law enforcement. Nigel’s presence managed to alarm The Cuss’s usual clientele, causing them to give Pimpleton a wide berth. As word spread of Nigel’s existence the less appealing, (in Roberts opinion) dragon-spotters began to arrive, hoping for a glance at the rare Emerald Forest Twin Tail. Fortunately for Robert, Nigel’s recent departure has brought about a renaissance in villainess behaviour, as many of The Cuss’s traditional patrons have begun to return. Unfortunately for the knights, one Horatio Bladderstone, self-professed scoundrel and all-round miscreant, has intruded upon their evening of leisure. The ignominious Monsieur Bladderstone realizing that Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst are quite ignorant of what dangers lay ahead for them, helpfully educates them to the impending lethal hazards they face. Listen as the knight’s anxiety levels grow to ever-greater proportions as they prepare for the next stage of the journey, and, discover if Horatio Bladderstones intentions are honourable or dastardly.
Listen to the third episode of The Secret of Donotalado
Our brave knights make a quick escape from Pimpleton and the devious charm of Horatio Bladderstone. Their path leads them into the uncharted and mysterious forest north of Pimpleton. The forest we know to be populated by “dangerous and magical creatures”, as report by Mr. Bladderstone. Here, in order to survive, they must rely on stealth, courage and fortitude, all traits I must point out, that our knights severely lack. As they stumble on through the dense wilderness, they draw the attention of the local inhabitants, who don’t general appreciate uninvited guest trespassing in their territory.
Listen to the fourth episode of The Secret of Donotalado
Finding themselves imprisoned by the Pixies, (also known as The Fachan), Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst have spent the night in their cramped cell arguing over which of them would make a better side dish for Mortimer’s breakfast. Mortimer, being a large, terrifying, monstrous…what? we have no idea. Even The Henchwoods Guide has no entry on Mortimer’s particular species. Unknown to the knights, the pixies have been charged to guard and protect a great treasure, which may explain the pixies somewhat peevish behaviour towards trespassers. Of course Cottington’s attitude doesn’t help their situation much either. The Fachan are known for being exceedingly stubborn and single-minded. The Verdant Forest Clan is especially proud of their clan’s pigheadedness and their excessively harsh punishments. Sirs Cottington and Bratwurst have quite a fight ahead of them if they want to avoid being digested by Mortimer. Can the knights quell the pixie queen’s anger and escape being devoured? Or, perhaps they will find help from an unexpected source? Or, maybe pigs will fly, who knows? We could go on like this all day.
Listen to the fifth episode of The Secret of Donotalado
Egad! Yes! Egad I say! And I don’t say that very often, (I mean really, who does?) could this be the end of Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst? Well, we discussed this before, not likely. Without Cottington or Bratwurst no story. Sorry, now I have ruined the moment, let me try this again. EGAD!!! Is Mortimer the vicious…thing, going to devour Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst? SAY IT ISN’T SO!!! The Knights having taken a wrong turn find themselves cornered by Mortimer at an ancient Druid Stone Circle, deep in darkest part the Great Cottington Forest. OH NO! Why are there monkeys drawings on this page? NO REALLY!!! why are there monkeys here? It’s just weird. DON’T WORRY!!! it will make sense once you have listened to ACT VI of The Secret of Donotalado.
Listen to the sixth episode of The Secret of Donotalado
OK, we admit it; things have gotten a bit strange, what with the monkeys, glowing lights and bizarre magic in the forest. What could it all mean? Do we care? Well of course we care! Would we be making these stories if we didn’t care!? Really how rude. Do we care, indeed! With Nigel’s arrival perhaps some things will be explained. He is the oldest know creature in Udenland, certainly the most brilliant. When it comes to “been there, done that” Nigel’s definitely your man, er… Dragon In this episode our hero’s find themselves in one of the most beautiful areas in all of Udenland. The Inflorescence Plain, one of the loveliest and comparatively least dangerous parts of the kingdom. Though its past is tainted with blood, as it was the location of many battles early in the history of Udenland. It is now vast kaleidoscope of color since flowers fill the vista as far as you can see. Something Sir Cottington greets with a hardy “eh” and a shrug as he has about as much depth as a glass of spilt milk. So now they are three stalwart travellers in search of the elusive secret. All hoping to solve the Secret of Donotalado and the mysteries of the stone circles, they travel forth into the unknown, prepared for anything, except maybe the approaching storm that is ACT VII of the Secret of Donotalado.
Listen to the seventh episode of The Secret of Donotalado